I would do anything for threat (but I won’t do that).

Ok so my last post mentioned Total Eclipse of the Heart which was written by Jim Steinman, who has also written and produced for Meat Loaf. So that reminded me of Meat Loaf’s epic I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That), which I’ve always rather liked. So what is below is the product of that and the desire to avoid working on what I should be working on. It was a little difficult since there are several different versions of the song. This is a hybrid of the version from the video, and a live performance. The first part more closely matches the video, but I like the more extended dialogue between the singer and the woman in the live version.

It’s still a bit rough but I need to get it off my desktop so I can do some real work. /sigh. I think I need to get back into an instance soon.

I Would Do Anything for Threat (But I Won’t Do That)

I would do anything for threat
I’d PUG right into hell and back
I would do anything for threat
I’ll never loose aggro to you and that’s a fact

But I’ll never forget the rage I have right now
Oh no…no way
I would do anything for threat
Oh I would do anything for threat
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Some runs it don’t come easy
Some runs it don’t come hard
Some runs it don’t come at all and these are the runs that never end
Some runs the boss casts fire
Some runs the boss casts ice
Some runs he’s like nothing I’ve ever tanked before or will again

Maybe I’m crazy
But it’s crazy and I’m sure
I know the healer can heal me
No one else can heal me but her

As long as the rogue is sapping
As long as the hunter’s trapping
As long as nightmares are coming true
You’d better believe it!

That I would do anything for threat
And I’ll be there until the final boss
I would do anything for threat
And I’ll promise that it won’t be a loss

I’ll never forgive myself if we don’t get to the end
Tonight…

I would do anything for threat
Oh I would do anything for threat
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

I would do anything for threat
So my guildies won’t have to fret
But just I won’t do that

(repeat)

But I’ll never stop taunting the way I taunt right now, no way
I would do anything for threat
Oh I would do anything for threat
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Some days I pray for healing
Some days I pray for hots
Some days I just pray to the gods of sword and board and flasks ‘n pots

Here I’m tanking, that’s where I’m qualified by build
That’s my one and only, my one and only service to the guild

As long as the fire is raining
As long as the lock is draining
As long as your dots are landing true
You’d better believe it!

I would do anything for threat
And you know it’s true and that’s a fact
I would do anything for threat
I they’ll never been no turning back

I’ll never tank ‘em better than I tank ‘em with blues, so leet, so leet
I would do anything for threat
Oh I would do anything for threat
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

I would do anything for threat
So my guildies won’t have to fret
But just I won’t do that

(repeat)

But I’ll never be happy with just blues every night of my life, no way
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Mage:
Will you build threat up so I can burn mobs down?
Will you keep us all from rocking back to town?
Will you do it ’cause I won’t spec cold?

Tank:
I can do that
I can do that

Hunter:
Will you keep the aggro? Will you hold it tight?
Will you protect my life, I’m so sick of getting wiped
Can you make it all a little less old?

Tank:
I can do that
I can do that

Rogue:
Will you get out your shield and do you job?
Will you let me backstab every trash mob?
Can you sunder mobs so that I can pwn?

Tank:
I can do that
Oh I can do that

Shadow Priest:
Will you help with every group quest I need?
Can you do without a holy priest if I make them bleed?
Will you keep aggro if all my mind blasts crit?

Tank:
I can do that
Oh I can do that

Warlock:
After a while you’ll not want to taunt
It was a brief experiment with talent points in prot
And you’ll see that it’s time to respec

Tank:
I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Healer:
I know the instances, I’ve been around
You’ll lose the aggo and we’ll all fall down
And sooner or later you’ll be pugging around

Tank:
I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Anything for threat
Oh I would do anything for threat
I would do anything for threat
But I won’t do that
No I won’t do that

Turn around bright eyes.

I’ve always liked Jessika’s glowy eyes. I wish my eyes would glow like that. Her eyes remind me of the video for Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart (I’m a sucker for power ballads). The song has been covered many times but perhaps the most interesting is by Hurra Torpedo.

Well I couldn’t think of a good title or lead-in but here’s an update:

• Jess has been relatively inactive lately other than a bit of fishing. I have many stacks of [Spicy Crawdad] now for instances. I got my hands on the [Weather-Beaten Journal] ASAP to learn the new Find Fish skill. (Mainly because I wanted to see if I could get it before Keredria. Yay me!) It’s actually quite handy. I’ve done a little combat to evaluate the new change to devastate. My DPS has increased significantly, and I am expecting it to work nicely while tanking.

• I’ve been playing with Aksana a bit lately — now level 44. She was originally a fire mage but i respecced her to full frost to try it out. Frost is very nice for solo (although not as mana efficient as I had hoped), and I imagine it would be useful for PvP, but for instances I have to go with fire. I am trying to decide if some sort of elementalist build would be viable because I do love frost bolts, particularly when they are enhanced by permafrost, but it’s hard to give up any points in fire now, and I don’t need the slowing effects in an instance usually. There’s nothing like having my party members yell “holy crap!” when they see a string of crits from me. The power is…intoxicating. Last night we did a bit of Maraudon (I specced back to fire) with some alts from The Left Claw and a couple of outsiders. We didn’t make it very deep before we had to call it a night but we had a good time.

• Sula has been seeing a bit more attention since my friends have been off-line more lately. She’s level 34 now and still full affliction. I respecced her slightly to max out fel concentration so she could drain-tank a bit better. I’m also enjoying my fel puppy. I go out of my way to find casters. Another thing I enjoy about Sula is that she’s my only Horde toon so she’s financially independent. I find trying to make money part of the appeal of WoW.

Hmmm…I just noticed that my favorite alts also have glowy eyes. Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in their eyes.

Getting in the mood.

So I haven’t played much WoW in the past few days other than to check the auctions. I’ve been unusually busy in RL, and also I haven’t been much in the mood.

“What has mood to do with it? You fight when the necessity arises — no matter the mood! Mood’s a thing for cattle or making love or playing the baliset. It’s not for fighting.”

Yeah Gurney, I know. But mood — specifically rage — is for tanking. If you haven’t played a warrior or a druid in bear form you may be unfamiliar with how rage works. Rage is to warriors as energy is to rogues or mana is to casters. But unlike energy or mana we default to an empty rage bar. We acquire rage largely by hitting, getting hit, and a few skills and talents. So I was amused (and a little disturbed) to learn that I can get a little rage “fix” between fights by popping critters. That’s useful but it just doesn’t seem right.

Is a blurry line a line?

After having spent more hours than I care to admit playing WoW, not to mention the mental energy I spend thinking about WoW, my mind is having some difficulty distinguishing between real life and game life. Here are some examples:

• Doing the dishes and holding a cleaver in one hand and a bread knife in the other, thinking to myself “I could dual-wield these bad boys.”
• Seeing a hawk soaring in thermals and thinking to myself “there’s Keredria in flight form…I wonder what she’s up to out here.”
• Trying to select a bottle of wine for a dinner party and thinking to myself “well, the one I really want is a bit pricey, but I’ve made good money lately on adamantite ore so why not splurge a bit.”
• Trying a new recipe for dinner and thinking “I hope this levels my cooking skill.”

But anecdotes about the tricks our minds play on us aside, the blurry line between real life and game life is often so blurry that it isn’t a line anymore. Alachia has some wonderful podcasts about the WoW metaverse.

You’ll be the captain, and I’ll be no one.

The Left Claw isn’t so much a guild as it is a bunch of folks who enjoy WoW largely because they’ve made some friends here. We often tease him, but I am grateful to our guild master Daihiro for selflessly committing himself to that environment for us, and so I tend to feel as though I owe one to you. Thanks D.

490 defense. Can’t crit this!

I’m almost there. I just need to pick up a ring (quest reward in Shadowmoon Valley) and move around a few gems. So this morning I “composed” this little ditty:

My, my, my, my elite mobs hit my toon
Makes me say “oh my Elune”
Thank you for blessing me
With 490 def and a resto tree
I aggro but they can’t kill
A night she-elf warrior from Teldrassil
I’m the one
they hit
But this is a tank oh you can’t crit

Can’t crit this!

Stop! Jessika time! My apologies to MC Hammer. If you don’t know or recall the original tune look here.

Jessika’s got a gun.

So I broke down and bought a Gyro-balanced Khorium Destroyer. Keredria has been getting leet purplz healing gear crafted left and right so I figured it was my turn to show my dedication to tanking. From what I have read and seen it is perhaps the best ranged weapon for tanks until you get to Black Temple: +27 stamina (+3 more with a yellow gem), a gem slot, and a nice bit of damage (148-275) for some extra threat on a pull or to drop a runner. Jess had never even wielded a gun before, but 300+ rounds and a few less critters in Dun Morogh later and I think she has a feel for it.

It looks absolutely absurd — very scifi with flashy green lighting effects when it shoots. I miss my bow already, but we tanks must sacrifice fashion for function.

Update: I found a nice place to train ranged weapons. You can plink all you want at the infernals outside of Wildhammer Stronghold without getting aggro.

Gearing up. /help

I am hoping that a few of the tanks that read this blog (ok, maybe one or two at best) could give me a little feedback on my gear. Since reaching 70 I have spent some time milking Outland for quest rewards. I also purchased a few things. Here is a link to me in the Armory (I usually stay in my tanking gear now). Keep in mind that the shield will soon be replaced by the Netherwing Protector’s Shield. Also I have been neglecting getting enchants, and I will take care of that shortly, but thoughts on those are also welcome. Currently I am running only pre-Karazhan and non-heroic 5-man instances because (a) I am a wimp and (b) we are waiting for a few other people to get leveled and/or geared-up (this means you Daihiro), but I’d like to get to the point where I am ready for Karazhan and maybe some of the easier heroics.